How To Find Grants for Single Mothers: Get the Help You Need

As a single parent, it can be hard enough to make it through the day while trying to work and raise a family—never mind finding the time and energy to look for grants and other financial aid. If you're having a hard time finding private or government grants for single moms, don't give up: From business and college grants to housing grants that can assist with daily expenses such as food, utilities and rent, money for single mothers is out there. The trick to finding it is knowing where to look.

It takes patience to locate grants. You’ll find that there are business, housing and college grants for single mothers. However, you have to find the right resources to help you locate this financial assistance, and it's important to be aware of scams—for example, those that ask for money up front or "guarantee" they'll send you money. Keep in mind, too, that in many cases the money will not be advertised as "grants for single mothers"—but often there are grants for low-income individuals for which you can qualify. Just because the money isn’t described as “collegegrants for single mothers” doesn’t mean it’s not a source of financial assistance. Before you begin searching for grant money, consider all of the categories that you may qualify for because this will help open your eyes to the various avenues that may lead you to money for your schooling.

Finding financial aid for single mothers isn’t easy—you still have to work to locate and apply for private orgovernment grant money. Mary Anne Britton of Parents Without Partners talks about this challenge. She says, "There are opportunities out there, but you have to be tenacious, and you have to be your own advocate.”

Britton, who is vice president of Family and Educational Programming for the international organization, put herself through college while raising two children and working; she has also helped other single parents find private and government grants.

Here's a guide to starting your search for housing, business and college grants for single mothers, from sources including the government, local housing authorities, corporations and colleges. You'll find that many grants for going back to school, starting a business, or those that help with housing costs are based on the applicant’s income, age or other factors. Before you apply for financial assistance, be sure to read all of the instructions and information carefully so you don't end up wasting your time—the most precious resource of all. Apply for housing, business and school grants with these steps.

Grants for Housing Expenses

There has been an increase in homeless families across the country, many of whom are headed by single mothers. Even those who have been able to keep a roof over their heads can find it hard to keep up with housing expenses. Therefore, many single moms are looking for local or government grant money. It can take some digging to find the right sources that offer housing assistance. The good news is, there are several federal programs that can help. The programs usually channel funding through state or local authorities.

These agencies offer various government grants for single mothers and other low-income individuals. The following should provide some solid leads.

• Housing Choice Voucher Program. Through public housing agencies around the country, the federal government provides financial aid for single mothers in the form of vouchers that help cover the costs of rent. Options are not limited to subsidized housing, but your income level, rent and chosen apartment must meet certain guidelines in order for you to qualify. (A program called the Veterans Affairs Supportive Housing Program combines this grant money with clinical services.) Find out more from your local public housing agency, which should also be able to explain other options for financial assistance for single mothers.
• State and Local Agencies. While the federal government has several programs intended to help build or repair low-income housing, the funding is usually distributed to local governments or nonprofits, not to individuals—and often not as financial aid for single mothers. But that money is ultimately intended to help low-income families, so if eligible, these may be another place to look. Programs such as the USDA's Rural Development Housing and Community Facilities, HUD's Home Investment Partnerships, and the Homelessness Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing Program all provide funding this way. To find this type of help for single mothers near you, visit the National Council of State Housing Agencies. Don’t miss out on the government grant money for single mothers.

Grants for College

These are some of the most sought after grants out there. School can be a great way to increase your earning power, but in the short run, if you don’t apply for financial aid, it sure can feel like it's leaving you without a penny. The good news is, whether you're just starting college or heading back after some time away, there are plenty of resources available to help with the costs (which can be overwhelming, to say the least). Education grants can be used to cover not only tuition, but also expenses such as college housing, textbooks and even computers. Availability and restrictions of grants for single moms going back to school vary widely. Don’t forget to look at available private and government grant money.

• Pell Grants. These need-based federal college grants are disbursed directly to students (some of them single mothers) to cover general college-related expenses up to a certain amount. Pell Grants for single moms and other students change each year. (The current cap is $5,550.) Although Pell Grants are not just for single moms, this is a great way to get the financial assistance that you may need. Like many college grants, you must apply by completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (known as the FAFSA). Note: When they say "free" application, they mean it; you can fill this form out directly and should not have to pay anyone to do it for you, unless you so choose. Not all federal grants are free. This is one of the rare free applications that you’ll find out there.
• Other Federal Grants. The federal government has several other school grants for single moms, most of which require you to be Pell Grant-eligible and fill out the FAFSA (see above). Here is a list of grants. The Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grant is for those with exceptional financial need and offers $100-$4,000. The Academic Competitiveness Grant is for single mothers who completed secondary school after 2005. This grant offers financial aid that can be as much as $750 in the first year or $1,300 in the second. The National Science and Mathematics Access to Retain Talent (SMART) Grant (for third- or fourth-year students) offers up to $4,000. The Teacher Education Assistance for College and Higher Education is great if you’re looking for grants for students who want to prepare for a career in teaching. You can get as much as $4,000 with this option. However, not all financial aid comes free. In this case, it must be repaid unless you teach for four years in a low-income or high-need area. Another option for single mother grants is the Iraq and Afghanistan Service Grant for students under 24 whose parents died in service after September 11, 2001. Although this may not apply to a large population of women, it’s worth mentioning. This money is equal to the Pell Grant maximum, which changes yearly. Single moms aren’t the only people who can qualify for these grants, but it’s a great place to start looking for financial aid. Check the Web for more full descriptions and eligibility information about grants for single mothers to go to college.
• National and Local Scholarships. Generally merit-based rather than need-based scholarships are similar to grants in that they don't need to be repaid. Many national corporations and associations offer educational scholarships, including Google (They offer grants for single moms going to school for computing and technology development.); AARP (They have financial aid for single mothers over 40.); the Jeanette Rankin Foundation (You can find grants for women over 35.); and the Association for Women in Science. In addition to these, you may also find local or state grants. The federal government also has asearchable database of scholarships that you may want to check out. (Many of these grants are specific to certain colleges.) Be sure to check with local organizations and schools to see if they offer financial help, too. As always, beware of scams; you should never have to pay money to win money. The free grants are probably your best bet.
• Your Company. If you work and are going back to school, check with your employer to see if they have any grants for single mothers. An estimated 60 percent of U.S. companies offer tuition assistance as an employee benefit. The IRS currently allows companies to provide up to $5,250 a year per employee (though not all are so generous), so your employer may be able to help you out. There are organizations that help single mothers in South Carolina, Michigan, Oklahoma and most other states. As previously mentioned, not all grants are free. Be aware that many education grants usually come with strings attached: Your academic performance will often set the bar for how much money you get. Some companies ask you to pay the costs and then reimburse you later. Other companies have a requirement that you work for them for a certain length of time after you've completed your education before they’ll agree to offer you money for college. If those requirements work for you though, you may be able to take advantage of the company’s grants for college.
• Your College. Colleges often have grants and other financial help for single mothers. These are available for accepted students, and some are even specific to single mothers. The money can help with the costs of textbooks, computers, tuition, housing and more. Be sure to check with the financial aid office of schools you are interested in attending to find out what grants are available. If you only need help with a portion of your schooling, such as computers, the financial aid office should be able to help you learn how to find grants for school technology things as well. "There are grants all over, but you have to ask," says Britton of Parents Without Partners. "It's not like they offer it up.” So when looking for loans, grants, or scholarships for moms, don’t forget to check out the school you’re attending as well.

Grants to Start a Business or Change Careers

Whether you're seeking technical training or are ready to start a business of your own, you may want to apply for grants to help get you on your way. Many grants are available through non-profit organizations for entrepreneurs, as well as through states such as Florida, Minnesota, Virgina and more. The federal government has more information on financial aid of single mothers, including a searchable Small Business Loans and Grants Tool. And don’t forget that if starting your business requires you to attend school again, you may also qualify for educational grants.

• PeaChic. As part of its commitment to women in business, this magazine, launched in 2010, offers small grants of $500 to $1,000 to help women start or expand a business. This may not be a huge amount of money, but it's a good source of financial aid. PeaChic offers single moms money to help cover expenses such as supplies, marketing, or other necessary parts of making a business succeed.
• Huggies MomInspired. Twice a year, the diaper giant awards grants of $1,000-$15,000 to support innovative products or start-up businesses. Ideas don't have to be diaper-related, although the winners so far have been primarily parent- and child-related. Although this is not specifically geared towards offering financial help for single moms, it’s definitely a place to find money for your business.
• American Association of University Women. This national network of individuals and institutions offers several different grant opportunities and financial assistance for single mothers, including a Career Development Grant for graduate studies and technical training and a Community Action Grant for projects that foster equity for girls and women.
• Small Business Administration. Although it does not offer grants for single moms, or any individuals for that matter, the Small Business Administration's Office of Women's Business Ownership is an excellent source of information on how to start and finance a business.

Grants for Daily Expenses

From food to heat to health insurance, these federal programs are a great way to get financial aid. Paying for the everyday necessities can definitely add up—especially if you only have one income—so applying for extra money can help you rest easier. Some of these options have been in place for decades, while others are more newly created. State and local organizations can make life's daily challenges a little more bearable for single mothers and others. Here’s how to find grants to help single mothers pay for those daily expenses.

• Women, Infants and Children. The mother of all federal programs, known as WIC and run by the USDA, has provided food, health-care referrals, and nutritional advice for women and children up to age five since its creation in 1972. In addition to food packages, the program also provides coupons that can be used at farmers' markets.
• Children's Health Insurance Program. This federally funded program provides financial help for single mothers, schools, health-care providers and others to help uninsured children get coverage. Contact your state health agency or type your state and "CHIP" into a search engine to find out more about how you can take advantage of this government assistance.
• Food Stamps. Nearly 40 million Americans now put food on their tables with help from this federal program, formally known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). Benefits are calculated based on your family size, income, expenses and other factors. Food stamps help many families and are definitely a source of single parent grants.
• Families First/TANF. Through its Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program—which used to be known as Aid to Families with Dependent Children, and more commonly as welfare—the federal government provides monthly benefits for income-eligible families. This is a very common assistance program. Benefits and guidelines vary; for details about how this program can provide help and support for single moms and to find your state office, put "TANF" and your state into a search engine.
• Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program. Need help paying your utility bills? This federally funded program, whose benefits vary depending on household size, income, fuel type, and the region where you live, could offer the financial assistant for single mothers you’ve been seeking.
• Health and Human Services Offices. Contact your state's Health and Human Services office for more information on grants and other programs, including state-specific grants that can help cover child-care costs. To locate government resources for single moms in your state office, put your state and "Health and Human Services" into a search engine.

By starting with these ideas and organizations, you should be able to find reputable sources of grants for single mothers. Locating housing, business and college money may seem daunting, but once you get started, you’ll find there is a lot of assistance available. You can get financial aid from schools, companies and the government to help with feeding your family, paying your rent, or supporting your goals of going back to school or starting a business. After checking out the requirements, you’ll most likely discover that you qualify for both paid and free grants to help with housing assistance, business expenses, or student aid. With a little luck and a lot of persistence, you can access free money—and find a way to worry a little less.

How To Find Grants for Single Mothers: Get the Help You Need

Learn About Financial Aid, Scholarships & Free Money

As a single parent, it can be hard enough to make it through the day while trying to work and raise a family—never mind finding the time and energy to look for grants and other financial aid. If you're having a hard time finding private or government grants for single moms, don't give up: From business and college grants to housing grants that can assist with daily expenses such as food, utilities and rent, money for single mothers is out there. The trick to finding it is knowing where to look.

It takes patience to locate grants. You’ll find that there are business, housing and college grants for single mothers. However, you have to find the right resources to help you locate this financial assistance, and it's important to be aware of scams—for example, those that ask for money up front or "guarantee" they'll send you money. Keep in mind, too, that in many cases the money will not be advertised as "grants for single mothers"—but often there are grants for low-income individuals for which you can qualify. Just because the money isn’t described as “college grants for single mothers” doesn’t mean it’s not a source of financial assistance. Before you begin searching for grant money, consider all of the categories that you may qualify for because this will help open your eyes to the various avenues that may lead you to money for your schooling.

Finding financial aid for single mothers isn’t easy—you still have to work to locate and apply for private or government grant money. Mary Anne Britton of Parents Without Partners talks about this challenge. She says, "There are opportunities out there, but you have to be tenacious, and you have to be your own advocate.”

Britton, who is vice president of Family and Educational Programming for the international organization, put herself through college while raising two children and working; she has also helped other single parents find private and government grants.

Here's a guide to starting your search for housing, business and college grants for single mothers, from sources including the government, local housing authorities, corporations and colleges. You'll find that many grants for going back to school, starting a business, or those that help with housing costs are based on the applicant’s income, age or other factors. Before you apply for financial assistance, be sure to read all of the instructions and information carefully so you don't end up wasting your time—the most precious resource of all. Apply for housing, business and school grants with these steps.

Grants for Housing Expenses

There has been an increase in homeless families across the country, many of whom are headed by single mothers. Even those who have been able to keep a roof over their heads can find it hard to keep up with housing expenses. Therefore, many single moms are looking for local or government grant money. It can take some digging to find the right sources that offer housing assistance. The good news is, there are several federal programs that can help. The programs usually channel funding through state or local authorities.

These agencies offer various government grants for single mothers and other low-income individuals. The following should provide some solid leads.

• Housing Choice Voucher Program. Through public housing agencies around the country, the federal government provides financial aid for single mothers in the form of vouchers that help cover the costs of rent. Options are not limited to subsidized housing, but your income level, rent and chosen apartment must meet certain guidelines in order for you to qualify. (A program called the Veterans Affairs Supportive Housing Program combines this grant money with clinical services.) Find out more from your local public housing agency, which should also be able to explain other options for financial assistance for single mothers.
• State and Local Agencies. While the federal government has several programs intended to help build or repair low-income housing, the funding is usually distributed to local governments or nonprofits, not to individuals—and often not as financial aid for single mothers. But that money is ultimately intended to help low-income families, so if eligible, these may be another place to look. Programs such as the USDA's Rural Development Housing and Community Facilities, HUD's Home Investment Partnerships, and the Homelessness Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing Program all provide funding this way. To find this type of help for single mothers near you, visit the National Council of State Housing Agencies. Don’t miss out on the government grant money for single mothers.

Grants for College

These are some of the most sought after grants out there. School can be a great way to increase your earning power, but in the short run, if you don’t apply for financial aid, it sure can feel like it's leaving you without a penny. The good news is, whether you're just starting college or heading back after some time away, there are plenty of resources available to help with the costs (which can be overwhelming, to say the least). Education grants can be used to cover not only tuition, but also expenses such as college housing, textbooks and even computers. Availability and restrictions of grants for single moms going back to school vary widely. Don’t forget to look at available private and government grant money.

• Pell Grants. These need-based federal college grants are disbursed directly to students (some of them single mothers) to cover general college-related expenses up to a certain amount. Pell Grants for single moms and other students change each year. (The current cap is $5,550.) Although Pell Grants are not just for single moms, this is a great way to get the financial assistance that you may need. Like many college grants, you must apply by completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (known as the FAFSA). Note: When they say "free" application, they mean it; you can fill this form out directly and should not have to pay anyone to do it for you, unless you so choose. Not all federal grants are free. This is one of the rare free applications that you’ll find out there.
• Other Federal Grants. The federal government has several other school grants for single moms, most of which require you to be Pell Grant-eligible and fill out the FAFSA (see above). Here is a list of grants. The Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grant is for those with exceptional financial need and offers $100-$4,000. The Academic Competitiveness Grant is for single mothers who completed secondary school after 2005. This grant offers financial aid that can be as much as $750 in the first year or $1,300 in the second. The National Science and Mathematics Access to Retain Talent (SMART) Grant (for third- or fourth-year students) offers up to $4,000. The Teacher Education Assistance for College and Higher Education is great if you’re looking for grants for students who want to prepare for a career in teaching. You can get as much as $4,000 with this option. However, not all financial aid comes free. In this case, it must be repaid unless you teach for four years in a low-income or high-need area. Another option for single mother grants is the Iraq and Afghanistan Service Grant for students under 24 whose parents died in service after September 11, 2001. Although this may not apply to a large population of women, it’s worth mentioning. This money is equal to the Pell Grant maximum, which changes yearly. Single moms aren’t the only people who can qualify for these grants, but it’s a great place to start looking for financial aid. Check the Web for more full descriptions and eligibility information about grants for single mothers to go to college.
• National and Local Scholarships. Generally merit-based rather than need-based scholarships are similar to grants in that they don't need to be repaid. Many national corporations and associations offer educational scholarships, including Google (They offer grants for single moms going to school for computing and technology development.); AARP (They have financial aid for single mothers over 40.); the Jeanette Rankin Foundation (You can find grants for women over 35.); and the Association for Women in Science. In addition to these, you may also find local or state grants. The federal government also has asearchable database of scholarships that you may want to check out. (Many of these grants are specific to certain colleges.) Be sure to check with local organizations and schools to see if they offer financial help, too. As always, beware of scams; you should never have to pay money to win money. The free grants are probably your best bet.
• Your Company. If you work and are going back to school, check with your employer to see if they have any grants for single mothers. An estimated 60 percent of U.S. companies offer tuition assistance as an employee benefit. The IRS currently allows companies to provide up to $5,250 a year per employee (though not all are so generous), so your employer may be able to help you out. There are organizations that help single mothers in South Carolina, Michigan, Oklahoma and most other states. As previously mentioned, not all grants are free. Be aware that many education grants usually come with strings attached: Your academic performance will often set the bar for how much money you get. Some companies ask you to pay the costs and then reimburse you later. Other companies have a requirement that you work for them for a certain length of time after you've completed your education before they’ll agree to offer you money for college. If those requirements work for you though, you may be able to take advantage of the company’s grants for college.
• Your College. Colleges often have grants and other financial help for single mothers. These are available for accepted students, and some are even specific to single mothers. The money can help with the costs of textbooks, computers, tuition, housing and more. Be sure to check with the financial aid office of schools you are interested in attending to find out what grants are available. If you only need help with a portion of your schooling, such as computers, the financial aid office should be able to help you learn how to find grants for school technology things as well. "There are grants all over, but you have to ask," says Britton of Parents Without Partners. "It's not like they offer it up.” So when looking for loans, grants, or scholarships for moms, don’t forget to check out the school you’re attending as well.

Grants to Start a Business or Change Careers

Whether you're seeking technical training or are ready to start a business of your own, you may want to apply for grants to help get you on your way. Many grants are available through non-profit organizations for entrepreneurs, as well as through states such as Florida, Minnesota, Virgina and more. The federal government has more information on financial aid of single mothers, including a searchable Small Business Loans and Grants Tool. And don’t forget that if starting your business requires you to attend school again, you may also qualify for educational grants.

• PeaChic. As part of its commitment to women in business, this magazine, launched in 2010, offers small grants of $500 to $1,000 to help women start or expand a business. This may not be a huge amount of money, but it's a good source of financial aid. PeaChic offers single moms money to help cover expenses such as supplies, marketing, or other necessary parts of making a business succeed.
• Huggies MomInspired. Twice a year, the diaper giant awards grants of $1,000-$15,000 to support innovative products or start-up businesses. Ideas don't have to be diaper-related, although the winners so far have been primarily parent- and child-related. Although this is not specifically geared towards offering financial help for single moms, it’s definitely a place to find money for your business.
• American Association of University Women. This national network of individuals and institutions offers several different grant opportunities and financial assistance for single mothers, including a Career Development Grant for graduate studies and technical training and a Community Action Grant for projects that foster equity for girls and women.
• Small Business Administration. Although it does not offer grants for single moms, or any individuals for that matter, the Small Business Administration's Office of Women's Business Ownership is an excellent source of information on how to start and finance a business.

Grants for Daily Expenses

From food to heat to health insurance, these federal programs are a great way to get financial aid. Paying for the everyday necessities can definitely add up—especially if you only have one income—so applying for extra money can help you rest easier. Some of these options have been in place for decades, while others are more newly created. State and local organizations can make life's daily challenges a little more bearable for single mothers and others. Here’s how to find grants to help single mothers pay for those daily expenses.

• Women, Infants and Children. The mother of all federal programs, known as WIC and run by the USDA, has provided food, health-care referrals, and nutritional advice for women and children up to age five since its creation in 1972. In addition to food packages, the program also provides coupons that can be used at farmers' markets.
• Children's Health Insurance Program. This federally funded program provides financial help for single mothers, schools, health-care providers and others to help uninsured children get coverage. Contact your state health agency or type your state and "CHIP" into a search engine to find out more about how you can take advantage of this government assistance.
• Food Stamps. Nearly 40 million Americans now put food on their tables with help from this federal program, formally known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). Benefits are calculated based on your family size, income, expenses and other factors. Food stamps help many families and are definitely a source of single parent grants.
• Families First/TANF. Through its Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program—which used to be known as Aid to Families with Dependent Children, and more commonly as welfare—the federal government provides monthly benefits for income-eligible families. This is a very common assistance program. Benefits and guidelines vary; for details about how this program can provide help and support for single moms and to find your state office, put "TANF" and your state into a search engine.
• Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program. Need help paying your utility bills? This federally funded program, whose benefits vary depending on household size, income, fuel type, and the region where you live, could offer the financial assistant for single mothers you’ve been seeking.
• Health and Human Services Offices. Contact your state's Health and Human Services office for more information on grants and other programs, including state-specific grants that can help cover child-care costs. To locate government resources for single moms in your state office, put your state and "Health and Human Services" into a search engine.

By starting with these ideas and organizations, you should be able to find reputable sources of grants for single mothers. Locating housing, business and college money may seem daunting, but once you get started, you’ll find there is a lot of assistance available. You can get financial aid from schools, companies and the government to help with feeding your family, paying your rent, or supporting your goals of going back to school or starting a business. After checking out the requirements, you’ll most likely discover that you qualify for both paid and free grants to help with housing assistance, business expenses, or student aid. With a little luck and a lot of persistence, you can access free money—and find a way to worry a little less.

Emerging trends for babies & kids' rooms

Forget about pink and blue: Anything goes

The most important new trend is hipster heritage.

— Christiane Lemieux, founder and creative director of Dwell Studio

In the months leading up to the big day, expectant parents get serious about decorating their baby's room, making it just perfect for the newest member of the family. These days they have a lot more options than pink for girls and blue for boys, and instead of being restricted to ruffles and bows or sailboats and toy soldiers when it comes to a theme, the sky is their limit. At the International Gift & Home Furnishings Market in January 2012, Dwell Studio founder Christiane Lemieux, said six emerging trends have taken centre stage.

Hipster heritage

A rocking chair with stuffed teddy bears fits right in with hipster heritage decor.

Safety first

Safety is paramount when it comes to cribs. These tips from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission may be helpful when you are ready to buy a crib.

• Look for cribs certified by the Juvenile Product Manufacturers Association (JPMA). Drop-sided cribs are no longer available.

• Avoid cutouts in the headboard and footboard so a baby’s head cannot become trapped.

• Check for loose, broken or improperly installed screws, brackets and other hardware.

• Select a firm, tight-fitting mattress so a baby cannot become trapped between the mattress and the crib.

• There should be no tears, holes or loose threads.

• Mesh should be securely attached to the top rail and floor plate.

"The most important new trend is hipster heritage," said Lemieux, author of “Undecorate: The No-Rules Approach to Interior Design." This do-it-yourself effort means finding accessories that may be scoped out at car boot sales. It may also be created from new items with a timeless feel, she said.

Simply recover the cushions on a vintage rocking chair or overstuffed sofa instead of opting for a new chair. Select rugs that appear sun-washed and homespun, and choose artwork from colourful, hip, vintage signs or inexpensive framed posters, Lemieux suggested.

It’s no-holds-barred on accessories -- from a framed collection of bugs in a boy’s room to a gaggle of dolls hanging out on a shelf in a girl's room. A ceiling fixture in the shape of a star can cap off the theme. Baskets filled with teddy bears, along with knitted throws and pillows.

Minimalism

The new wave of minimalism, according to Lemieux, means open and airy with clean lines, in tones of whites and greys accentuated with dusty colours, ranging from pink to grey-black. Furniture is generally white with little embellishment and provides multiple storage solutions in chests, armoires and shelving.

Texture is important, too: Think of a soft faux sheepskin throw in a comfortable rocking chair or a plush animal skin rug that protects small knees from the wooden floor, she said. Wallpaper patterns are graphic or botanical, and the lighting is minimalist. Curtains often have borders in an accent color while retaining the same graphic lines as the furnishings. Far from sterile, rooms are functional and fun with wooden toys and animals, but are not overly accessorised. An enormous world map or large painting in pastel colors ties the room together.

Divine decorating

High-end cribs are part of the "divine decorator" trend.

The "divine decorator" pulls out all the stops for wee princesses and princes who reign over nurseries. This is a favourite look for the offspring of Hollywood’s top celebrity couples, said John Sedigh of AFK Furniture, which recently furnished the nursery of famous twins he was not at liberty to name. (An April 20, 2011 article in the "Daily Mail" suggests Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, new parents to twins that year, were the celeb clients.)

Stars, in particular, like to approach a nursery in much the same way they decorate their own opulent bedrooms, he said. Every piece is high-end, from canopied cribs, chests and changing tables to upholstered chairs and rockers and custom-made window treatments, fine linens and designer floor coverings.

From conception to completion, divine decorator styling is an investment, not only for this generation but also for the next, Sedigh added. Children outgrow their cribs and should transition easily into convertible youth beds or full-size beds that will take them through their teen years.

“At AFK, round cribs are making a comeback,” said Sedigh, whose company manufactures furnishings with "Old World craftsmanship applied in a new way." Jenny Lind beds with turned posts on all four sides bring the style into the 21st century. Because of safety concerns, every crib has stationary sides. Drop-sided cribs may no longer be manufactured.

AFK cribs frequently have elaborate canopies or tufted head and foot boards that may be custom-made to complement the window coverings or upholstery. Sedigh urged parents to opt for solidly built furniture. "Disposable furniture is about the least sustainable thing you can do," he said.

Floral wallpaper epitomises this style for girls; more graphic designs work for boys. Both are often combined with bold wall graphics and custom murals.

Nearly every aspect of the room is layered, from the spread with dust ruffles and piles of pillows to antique mirrors with intricate frames. Crystal chandeliers, whimsical hot air balloons or even crystal ships provide overhead lighting, and nostalgic accessories like antique rocking horses -- either large enough for a toddler to ride or small enough to decorate a nightstand -- finish the mood. Frequently, soft, plush oversize animals hang out in corners, providing a cosy space to read or play.

Graphic modern

Geometric shapes and bright colours, like these blocks, define the theme of graphic modern.

The graphic modern trend features bold colours -- think Kelly green and bright orange -- twisted together, Lemieux said. The look, exuberant as a child’s painting, may have a ceiling festooned with wide stripes or exposed wooden beams.

On the walls, removable circle decals in pink, orange and red or any favourite colour palette create a lively mood. Add a shelf with cut-out circle openings that mirror the wall decor, and the basic decorating scheme is sealed. To add to the fun, every corner of a room styled in graphic modern reveals splashes of color, like contemporary flowers on the foot of the crib or a funky, bright blue Eames rocking chair.

The furniture has clean lines, is generally white, and sits on cheery rugs with bold designs, such as a stop sign, star, animal or multicolored stripes, Lemieux added. Accessories, too, are graphic, and lighting is angular and geometric in bright colours. Window treatments vary from Roman shades in a print that ties all the colours in the room together to minimalist curtains.

Travel mode

Incorporating iconic references to travel, like the Eiffel Tower in Paris, gives a baby's room a sophisticated vibe.

For parents whose passion is travel, the "global traveler" trend combines an eclectic collection of mix-and-match styles from around the world, incorporating items the couple has picked up during their wanderings. Lemieux said the rooms are lively and designed to instill a love for far-off places.

Instead of pastels or even bright primary colours, the colour palette is spicy, with oranges, rusts and golds.

Furnishings incorporate a mix of exotic items, perhaps from Morocco, India, Africa or South America. Accessories and rugs -- it matters not whether they come from or are inspired by one country or many -- may be either vintage or new: the more the merrier. The entire design may be enhanced with a large swath of a wall covered with chalkboard paint to allow a budding artist to draw on the wall to their heart’s content. The pop of color, Lemieux said, might be provided by a painted globe in one corner.

For further inspiration, add a map mural, a globe overhead light, ceramic or wooden animal heads on the wall, or references to famous buildings, such as the Eiffel Tower or the Taj Mahal.

Does high blood pressure lower the chances of getting pregnant?

Associated conditions

Most women of reproductive age who have hypertension also have one or more associated conditions that do have a negative effect on fertility. Common examples include obesity, smoking and being older than 40. Each of these circumstances is strongly associated with an increased risk for hypertension as well as decreased fertility. Polycystic ovarian syndrome, or PCOS, is another condition frequently related to obesity and infertility, as well as high blood pressure.

Medications

Many blood pressure medications are not safe to use during pregnancy. Before becoming pregnant, women who take anti-hypertensives may need to talk with their doctor about switching to a blood pressure medication that is safely compatible with pregnancy. Medicines with a pregnancy category of A or B are preferable; category C medications are sometimes acceptable, but must be discussed with a doctor.

Obstetric health

Once pregnant, women with chronic high blood pressure are at significantly higher risk for pregnancy complications, such as miscarriage, pre-eclampsia, poor fetal growth and premature placental separation. A pre-conception consultation with a high-risk obstetrician to discuss possible risks and optimise medications and management before becoming pregnant can help decrease the chance of potential complications.

How to handle the break-up of a marriage

The end of a dream

The romance of the relationship began with excitement and hope for the future. With the failure of that dream, disappointment, stress and grief evolves. The loss of the life you lived together disrupts your home, routine and relationships with friends and extended family. Your grief creates doubt about your future and even your self-identity of becoming a single person again. This pain must be endured because it represents the loss of the relationship, shared dreams and commitments you created together.

Society refers to divorce as a “failed marriage.” Your marriage isn’t a failure if you are able to retain what was learned from the relationship. In the course of life, things happen to people that cause them to change. Sometimes, those events cause relationships to end. That doesn’t mean the relationship failed when it was no longer viable. The marriage was successful for the years you were happy together.

A new beginning

Many couples facing divorce concentrate on who is to blame, but it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. You still are facing the reality that the relationship is over and the question of how to move forward. Obsessing about the loss and filling your life with anger only hinders your progress in healing. Focus on yourself. Your new life is a work in progress.

It is important to heal from your divorce before beginning a new relationship. A rule of thumb is that you should allow approximately six months for every five years you were together. If you begin to date before you are ready, you can bring your past mistakes into the new relationship or experience the pain of a “rebound relationship."

Try to live independently first and learn who you are as a single person again. Then explore new ways to seek fulfillment by making time in your life for the fun things you enjoy doing. This helps you relish the freedom you now have over your own schedule. Always focus on the positive and what is going right in your life. To optimize this positive thinking, prioritise your self-care by eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Make this a part of your daily lifestyle. The best option you have for your new beginning is to live well and enjoy the journey.

How to Stop Living Through Your Child

Are you living out your own dreams vicariously through your child or children? This is a hazardous way to raise children and it's often insidious, in that sometimes you're not even aware that you're doing it. Children who feel they have to live up to their parent's dreams will often try very hard initially because they want to please their parents but for many of them, resentment, frustration and even anger can set in, either as a child or reflecting back on choices made when a young adult. If you're placing undue pressure on your child to achieve your unfulfilled hopes, it's time to start afresh. The good news is that it can be fixed any time you choose to do so, provided you recognize you're doing it and then make a conscious choice to stop.

EditSteps

1. 1
   Consider why it might be that you feel compelled to encourage your child to do things you wished you'd done. It's essential to face up to the motivations that have caused you to feel as if you need to live through your child. The drive to live through your child is often a competing mixture of wanting the best for your child, confusing what is best with the dreams you considered were ideal for you, along with seeking the fulfillment of something dear to you that didn't eventuate. While it's easy to feel defensive, realize that this isn't a self-blame action––it's about recognition and acknowledgment of how you might be living through your child and reaching acceptance that things need to change.
   • First, be honest about any of your dreams that you never achieved. Clarity about this can be hard where you've built up a self-defense around something you missed out on or failed to do or finish just so that you can cope better. For example, you may shrug off the fact you missed a Broadway audition due to the flu but deep down you've remained completely devastated because you never auditioned again. Or perhaps a coach told you that you were too fumble-fingered to play baseball or too fat to do ballet, and you're "avenging" your personal hurt from long-passed judgments by pushing your child through the activity that you missed out on.
   • Second, identify which opportunity you missed out on that has transferred to a hyper-focus on your child's direction. Perhaps you never attended college or didn't finish your degree and you're now determined that your child won't "make the same mistake." The driver behind this is a fear that your child won't get a good job. Encouraging a child to do something (like attending college) that you believe will enhance his or her life and hopefully make things easier for him or her is a sign of supportive parenting; on the other hand, being driven by your own fears and sense of loss can cause you to overshoot the mark and force your child to see his or her destiny as only that which you've ordained. Or, you might raise the bar so high that only the very best will do, like getting into an ivy league school or becoming captain of the sport's team, even though your child shows neither interest nor aptitude.
   • Third, consider things from your childhood that you felt you were not allowed to act out, talk about or reveal because of family tension or taboos. Growing up, you may not have even tried to raise such issues, knowing it would be futile. The inability to act on hidden desires can often emerge later in life when you gain a form of control over another person, such as the parent-child relationship. Do you ever catch yourself saying to your child: "I never got to do that, think yourself lucky young man/lady" or simply find yourself thinking often that your children get enviable opportunities that you never had? More telling still, do you ever find yourself feeling jealous when your child gets close to or achieves the goal you've transferred to him or her?
   • Finally, notice whether you're disregarding your child's real talents, submerging them under your idea of "preferred" activities or options? While these might lead to gaining your dreams, they fail to allow for the natural expression of your child's own talents.
2. 2
   Confront all of your missed opportunities. Before you can start focusing on the ways to disentangle your dreams from your child's life, give yourself the chance to let go of unfulfilled dreams and face the pain head on. This may feel painful, in fact it will feel like grieving, because you'll be passing through stages of denial, anger before hopefully reaching a place of acceptance, especially if you haven't really faced the underlying issues before.
   • Give yourself a chance to mourn your lost childhood. Acknowledge how much it hurt to miss out on or never pursue the dream that you held dear as a child and teen. Acknowledge how much it has rankled that you were never captain of the cheerleading squad or didn’t make that final round during the spelling bee. Simply letting yourself express the negative feelings about what you missed out on is an important beginning.
   • Often talking over your fears and sadness with someone who cares about you is a really good way to free yourself from carrying it around. First, you can let out the pain of your loss, while second, this person will often be able to reflect back to you all that you have achieved in spite of your sadness or anger at what you didn't do. Choose someone you know won't judge you and loves you unconditionally.
3. 3
   Start to let go by asking yourself who you want to be now. Everyone has regrets about some things in life but it's how we react that makes all the difference. Carrying around the baggage of an unfulfilled past self can derail the rest of your life. If you've become too attached to making a sad story from your life, this process might be even harder because you've let the past define you. But the fact that it's hard is no excuse to stay stuck in this mindset driven by past loss. Focus on the parent you want to be rather than on the achievement you thought would once define you. Tell your inner/past child that it's time to move forward in order to celebrate the kind of parent you want to be. It's okay to want to nurture yourself and you will do this more effectively when you let the adult and parent self take charge.
   
   
   
   • It can help to find a ritual or ceremony that will help you to let go. For example, write down the dream that you had on a piece of paper. Fold the paper up and place it onto a paper boat. Take the boat down to a local river and set it free. As it floats away down the river, say an affirmation about letting go and moving forward with the rest of your life, unimpeded by the heartache of what didn't happen.
   • Turn your pain to gratitude. Once you have done something to ritually let go of your pain, think over the things that you have done in your life. There will be many achievements, even if you've refused to acknowledge them before. Parenting your child is a precious, ongoing achievement that you deserve to celebrate, along with the other elements of your life that you're proud about.
4. 4
   Identify areas where you may have confused your desires with your child’s. Most likely if your child is school age, he or she has at least some aspects of independence and has talents of his or her own emerging or evident. Whether it's the ball field, ballroom or classroom, seek to identify the areas where you seem to have disregarded your child’s true wishes or talents and have transposed yourself in his or her place, seeking outcomes related to what you'd wished happened rather than what your child is best suited to doing or being.
   • Reflect upon how far you've been taking your desire to live through your children. For example, do you go so far as to push your child into pageants even though she has clearly stated she can’t stand them or is it subtler where you merely (and constantly) “suggest” that your son or daughter take an animal CPR class, which could hopefully lead to vet school in the future? Look for both the overt and subtle ways that you've been pushing your child in a definite, parent-defined direction.
   • Try standing in your child's shoes. In some cases, children who excel at something they absolutely hate or don't feel much connection with, do so because it is a ticket to time spent with a parent, time they're desperately craving and don't seem to be getting from the parent in any other area of their life. Hence, doing what mom or dad ask of the child equates with gaining the interest and attention of mom or dad, and conforming to doing more of it means getting even more attention. It's easy to confuse the child's actions with actual willingness or enjoyment to achieve the particular activity or goal. Moreover, if your child feels that your love is conditional on the achievement, your child risks never feeling good enough in your eyes.
   • Consider asking for an outside opinion. Sometimes it’s difficult to truly know if you're trying to live your dreams through your children or not. Ask your spouse or a close family member for an honest opinion, promising no comebacks for the feedback. For example, ask something like: "Was I pushing too hard on the soccer field or did I lose it too quickly when a “B” came home on an English paper?". If it's someone close to you, they'll be aware of your personal biases and goals and can factor that into your relationship with your child.
5. 5
   Be very careful about transferring your own internalized sense of shame or lack onto your child. If you expend endless energy focusing on the negatives in your child because you're terrified of other people seeing these aspects and associating them with you personally, you risk turning your child into a proxy for your own standing in society. By neglecting to help your child round out his or her strengths and weaknesses and forcing your child to focus only on certain personality traits that you feel are appropriate, you risk damaging your child's self-esteem permanently. Ultimately, trying to mold your child to be an ideal will damage your relationship now and into the future. Focus instead on guiding your child toward constructive behavior and self-expression while not making a big deal of the negatives.
   • Never be “ashamed” or “embarrassed” if your child fails. Children are fast and ready learners, so they will––and should––fail at endeavors from time to time. Failure is a teacher as much as success and the child who knows how it feels to fail and begin again will learn the resilience needed to thrive, realizing that it's not the end of the world to make mistakes. If you believe that your child’s performance or behavior is a direct reflection on who you are, you may be so embarrassed that you transfer your child's small failings into thinking that you must be a failure, wrongly making it all too personal. The repercussions of this unhealthy thinking pattern are devastating for both you and for your child, so learn to spot yourself falling for thinking like this and put an end to it each time.
   • Avoid boasting or bragging about your child’s accomplishments. On the flip side of failing, is when your child achieves a goal. Never take credit or conclude that it must be because he or she is your child or "inherited your gift/brains." While genetics play some role in how your child turns out, most of it is about nurturing the latent talents within each person and teaching each child to trust and rely on his or her own abilities. Rather than taking the glory, teach your child that personal effort is what improves everything. As well, see your child as an individual entity with his or her own unique talents and abilities, rather than as an extension of you.
6. 6
   Find out what your child really cares about. Rather than telling your child what to do, ask. Start by asking what he or she likes to do or wants to do. You may be very surprised at the answers. Broaden your questions to include current interests, friendships and hopes for the future. You need to open to hearing what you don't necessarily want to hear––be prepared to go with that and simply listen. You may realize that you've been a fantastic motivator but a poor listener.
7. 7
   Let your child explore his or her inner world without your overlay. Remind yourself frequently that your child is not you and that expressing his or her talents is not a direct reflection of who you are or what you’ve achieved in life. By allowing your child to explore his or her own interests, no matter how far these stray from your own, you provide a safe learning environment that will eventually enable your child to open up his or her best potential.
   • Be open minded when your child has different interests. Set aside your own qualms––perhaps he or she loves bugs and everything about them, but growing up you thought bugs were disgusting. Instead of trying to steer your child away from the insect interest, embrace it and seek to learn more about what excites and thrills him or her. For all you know, this could be a period of growth and better self-understanding for you too!
   • Encourage your child's own self-perpetuated expectations so that he or she learns how to live up to goals that are self-set, even if these amount to a "just a phase" in the end. It's the process of learning to be passionate about something, learning both the pitfalls and exciting things, and then finding a happy medium that needs to be supported by you as guide and mentor. Realizing that children grow out of interests is also an important part of not forcing a child to stay trapped in an obsession of your own.
8. 8
   Refocus on being a parent mentor, not a parent coach. Perhaps you have felt rather overwhelmed and completely consumed by parenting; with all the media expectations laid on parents, feelings of needing to be a perfect parent can easily take hold and lead you to overdo the parental involvement. From ongoing sports schedules and after school activities, to play dates and sleepovers, it's easy to lose yourself in your child’s life. Yet, both you and your child need downtime, time off parenting for you and time off performing for your child. By taking a renewed focus on your role as a parent as a mentor rather than a constant coach, you will gain yourself some more time to work on the things that mean a lot to you (besides your child!), as well as giving your child more breathing space to develop his or her own destiny. And never forget that regular unsupervised play is an essential part of childhood.
   • Take a walk down memory lane and recall what made you happy before your parenting perfectionism took over. Did you enjoy painting or playing the guitar? Or were you an avid runner but you hung up your shoes after the children arrived? If you're hyper-focused on your children, perhaps now you have enough time to redirect that focus back to what made you happy.
   • Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Babysitters, friends, family and others are all available to help you talk through things, to give you space and time to spend away from constant parenting activities and to simply give you a break from trying to be ever present for your children.
   • Embrace your own relationships. Before kids you may have had an entire world of social connections, but if it now feels as if you're more focused on your child's relationships rather than your own, you've invested too deeply in your child's life at the expense of your own. Instead of stewing over your child’s social status, redirect most of your attention to your adult relationships. Nurture connections with not only friends but also your spouse or partner. By modeling good, healthy relationships with others, your child will see how it is possible to maintain friendships and relationships while juggling the rest of life, instead of feeling like he or she is the only focus in your life.
9. 9
   Go after your dream. Who said that it’s completely over now that you're a parent? This sort of talk is negative and often stems from letting misguided ideas of other people's expectations dampen your enthusiasm and will. If you still regret not achieving your dream or goal, seriously consider going back after it. Instead of making your child a pawn in what you want out of life, cut him or her free and go after that dream––or a variant of it––yourself. It’s never too late when you've the will and determination to step up to the challenge. After all, you've been making your child do this for a while, so show your child you really mean to change.
   
   
   

EditTips

• Maintain an open, honest dialog with your child about activities you’ve chosen. Allow your child to freely express feelings about activities or projects fueled by you.
• If your child wishes to quit activities you've enrolled him or her in, ask that he or she finishes the project or season and then reflects on the activities. This is an important part of learning to "not just give up" and to not let down a team when part of one. By providing your child with the ability to make a decision whether to continue after finishing the session or season or not, you teach your child to give things a go but then to reach a decision after a trial.

EditWarnings

• Never force your child to do anything that could harm him or her physically or mentally in an effort to achieve a goal. If you're not sure, then that's all the more reason to question your motives in pushing your child.
• If you're not able to do this alone, seek counseling help. This is as important for your own healthy growth as it is for protecting your child from you projecting your dreams onto him or her.